Everybody knows Mr. T is cool. He's the man. He pitied cancer, and cancer turned tail and got out of dodge. There are even bobbleheads made in his holy image.
I pity the fool that buys this 1985 Audi 5000!In celebration of T's majesty, I present to you the top thirty Mr. T facts (stolen from here).
| Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise. |
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool. |
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you." |
Mr. T is capable of spontaneously creating life. Once, while flexing, parts of each of his biceps broke off and created Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman |
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood. |
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them. |
Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson. |
The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo. |
Mr.T pities the fools who don't eat his cereal, as it is the only known source of Vitamin T. |
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry. |
| Mr. T recently opened a Psychic hotline, one in which he takes every call. No matter the question he is asked, he gives only one response: "My prediction? Pain." He then goes out and personally pummels each caller witin an inch of their life, because Mr. T can never be wrong. |
| 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. |
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear. |
April 1st became known as "April Fool's Day" only after Mr. T decided it would be easier to pity a whole bunch of fools on a set date rather than pitying a few fools each day. |
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three. |
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him. |
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be. |
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time. |
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk. |
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday. |
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods. |
Mr. T can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved. |
Mr. T lost two arm wrestling contests in his life. One was to the planet Jupiter, and the other was a two hour battle with his own umbilical chord. |
Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts. |
